111115 - Much to Make up For
07:55 -- atypicalTyrant AT began trolling allodicTemperament AT at 19:55 -- 07:55 AT: uuh 07:55 AT: lorrea? 07:55 AT: Hi Aaisha. 07:56 AT: um 07:56 AT: are you okay 07:56 AT: I'm fine. 07:56 AT: Arre you? 07:57 AT: welll. scarlet's mostly not in my head anymore 07:57 AT: and i just 07:57 AT: wanted to talk 07:58 AT: Tallking is good. 07:59 AT: um did you want to go first 07:59 AT: I know what happened 07:59 AT: I allrready spoke to Serrios. 08:00 AT: i 08:00 AT: figured someone talked to you 08:00 AT: but i acted really bad 08:00 AT: What did you do that you coulld contrroll? 08:01 AT: i talked to scarlet 08:01 AT: when i said i would talk to you first 08:01 AT: before doing anything like that again 08:01 AT: Yes. 08:02 AT: Nyarrlla tolld me the same thing, you know 08:02 AT: At this point I think peoplle just telll me things to get me to stop botherring them 08:02 AT: And then carrry on as usuall 08:02 AT: As though I just enjoy thrrowing worrds out into the void forr the sake of seeing them flly 08:03 AT: The Handmaidens tallked to me about lleaderrship. 08:03 AT: And tolld me that therre werre two ways to do that. 08:03 AT: Kindness and fearr. 08:04 AT: I don't think any of us want a lleaderr who operrates thrrough fearr but if we're not going to respect what anyone asks of us, then kindness won't worrk eitherr. 08:04 AT: Even when those things arre in ourr BEST INTERREST, and that is FAIRRLLY OBVIOUS to any wrriggllerr who has even GLLANCED at anything TANGENTIALLLY STRRATEGIC 08:05 AT: Beforre alll of this happened I expllicitlly asked Nyarrlla to avoid Scarrllet at alll costs 08:06 AT: And his response is to GO TO DERRSE. 08:06 AT: And be in a room with HERR TWO OTHERR FAVOURRITE PLLAYERRS. 08:06 AT: As though she woulldn't be therre. 08:06 AT: they wouldnt have needed to go to derse if not for me 08:07 AT: I don't know 08:07 AT: At this point I reallly don't 08:07 AT: I've been herre this wholle time saying the same things 08:07 AT: But outside of worrds my fucking hands arre tied 08:08 AT: And my worrds arren't fucking twink bulllshit. 08:09 AT: i know 08:09 AT: i owe you so much more than an apology 08:09 AT: Did you actuallly feell happy at lleast 08:09 AT: Whille you werre llike that 08:09 AT: on the surface 08:10 AT: Is therre that sillverr llining 08:10 AT: but i hurt inside 08:10 AT: and i just didnt know why 08:11 AT: I'm llivid 08:11 AT: About alll of this 08:11 AT: But it's allso 08:11 AT: Verry harrd to keep carring 08:12 AT: i dont think we have to right now 08:12 AT: I have to 08:12 AT: The allterrnative is worrse 08:12 AT: whats the alternative? taking a break? 08:13 AT: Frrom carring. 08:13 AT: About what you and Nyarrlla and everryone ellse arre dealling with. 08:13 AT: i dont think its bad to stop caring for a while 08:13 AT: you dont always have to deal with our problems 08:13 AT: you dont have to be everyone's moirail 08:15 AT: I know 08:15 AT: But I have to trry 08:15 AT: Who ellse willl 08:15 AT: Maybe eventuallly you'lll llisten to me BEFORRE peoplle die 08:15 AT: That's the generrall you 08:15 AT: you do have the best advice 08:16 AT: but you dont have to do this alone 08:16 AT: leadership, though i am not the best example of following this advice, is not carrying the weight alone 08:17 AT: its delegating finding the best person for a job you cant tackle yourself 08:17 AT: use us lorrea, use us for the best outcome 08:17 AT: but dont abuse us 08:17 AT: It woulld hellp if anyone botherred to llisten to me 08:18 AT: okay so well start on that 08:18 AT: Even the humans HERRE seem resentfull of my even trrying to telll them what the HANDMAIDENS tolld me 08:18 AT: Which was about theirr TITLLES. 08:19 AT: And then trrying to orrganize us. 08:19 AT: None of us wants a damn lleaderr, but we NEED one. 08:19 AT: whos on your team? we do 08:19 AT: Arrty, Adam, and Kylle. 08:19 AT: and so far you seem like the best option because none of the rest of us can keep our heads on straight 08:19 AT: okay 08:20 AT: Kylle slleeps alll of the time, Arrty is a fucking pathetic bllob of fllesh who can't be assed to even THINK about a sellf esteem, Adam is who the FUCK knows wherre 08:21 AT: mmm ive talked to arty yea 08:22 AT: okay ill start pulling my weight and help get us all in line 08:22 AT: You're a tyrrian pullling yourr weight is llike nothing to you 08:23 AT: I'm attempting to make llight of the situation of an alllusion to the strrength that accompanies high castes 08:23 AT: hehe well it is really the least i can do for you since ive been dead weight so far 08:25 AT: I don't think anyone underrstands 08:26 AT: In the sllightest 08:26 AT: understand what? 08:26 AT: This. 08:27 AT: im assuming you mean the game 08:28 AT: That worrks forr it. 08:29 AT: The rulles arre simplle 08:30 AT: And so is the game 08:30 AT: And so arre the consequences. 08:31 AT: yes 08:31 AT: weve just been bothering things we shouldnt 08:32 AT: Yes. 08:34 AT: lorrea i am sorry, i am so sorry that i ignored you i made a promise and i broke it 08:34 AT: you can be as angry with me as you want but will you let me help you? 08:35 AT: Hellp me do what. 08:35 AT: whatever you need me to help with 08:35 AT: i get the feeling youre just as closed off as you said nyarla was 08:35 AT: I mean 08:36 AT: I've communicated how llivid I am 08:36 AT: I underrstand my feellings 08:36 AT: I'm not trrying to pass them off as something ellse 08:38 AT: you have, but will you let anyone help with the hurt? 08:38 AT: Being angrry isn't being hurrt 08:39 AT: but it is a way to cover hurt 08:39 AT: You're frree to trry. 08:40 AT: are you okay with me trying? 08:42 AT: Yes. 08:43 AT: Do not be disappointed if therre is nothing to hellp. 08:44 AT: i wont im just happy to be here for you if you need it :) 08:45 AT: Welll 08:46 AT: You can underrstand if I'm somewhat warry of that 08:46 AT: Considerring recent events 08:46 AT: yes i expect it 08:46 AT: i have a lot to make up for 08:48 AT: Do not llet the events repeat themsellves 08:49 AT: okay 08:49 AT: Not that I think you just 08:49 AT: Woulld. 08:50 AT: no i will do everything in my power to avoid a repeat 08:50 AT: i do not plan to seek out scarlet again 08:50 AT: and i only wish to talk to vigil to see if he has disposed of the body tho i suspect he has 08:50 AT: so i may just ignore that 08:53 AT: Perrhaps forr the best. 08:53 AT: sighs yea 08:54 AT: nyarla and i are apparently her spy cams currently 08:54 AT: libby can stop it so ill let you know when thats no longer a problem 08:54 AT: Oh wonderrfull 08:54 AT: Gllad to know 08:56 AT: i just found out recently too but i suspected she was watching somehow 08:57 AT: Yeah, frranklly I'm not shocked. 08:58 AT: im just going to operate under that constant assumption 09:00 AT: That's sorrt of what I've been doing 09:00 AT: i aaam 09:00 AT: a little irritated 09:00 AT: because im getting the vibe 09:00 AT: nobody else is 09:01 AT: Bearring a functionall thinkpan? 09:01 AT: that is one of them yes 09:02 AT: i have a feeling scarlet may only have been at the tower because they discussed something openly 09:02 AT: shes a meowbeast playing with squeakbeasts 09:02 AT: she probably wouldve left well enough alone if someone hadnt said something 09:04 AT: You mean llike 09:04 AT: Commonpllace STRRATEGY? 09:04 AT: yes exactly 09:04 AT: Even on ALLTERRNIA that was something that happened 09:04 AT: Peoplle being ablle to llisten in 09:04 AT: You don't need Twink bulllshit forr that 09:04 AT: ugh i forgot about that 09:09 AT: yea okay 09:09 AT: the problem is figuring out a way to communicate 09:09 AT: without that shit getting known 09:09 AT: because some people cant pick up on subtle clues 09:10 AT: COUGH. 09:10 AT: ... are you putting me in that category 09:10 AT: No 09:11 AT: are you sure that cough was pretty big and right there 09:11 AT: That wasn't at you 09:11 AT: You're picking up on the wrrong subtlle cllue 09:11 AT: mmm 09:13 AT: were you talking about quadrants earlier? 09:14 AT: Uh. 09:14 AT: When. 09:14 AT: I tallk about quadrrants a llot. 09:15 AT: when you were saying you dont think anyone understand 09:16 AT: Oh 09:16 AT: Err. 09:16 AT: In a way 09:17 AT: mmmm okay 09:17 AT: Why? 09:18 AT: just trying to see what i mightve missed 09:19 AT: I am not hiding anything 09:20 AT: i wouldnt expect you to but i can miss something you might be trying to tell me 09:20 AT: that is common i do have jokes flying over my head very often too 09:20 AT: I stilll don't see how that's reallly possiblle 09:21 AT: it is happening and there they go the jokes are gone 09:24 AT: Have you trried using yourr arrms 09:24 AT: Forr catching them. 09:24 AT: i have not i will try that next ill let you kno how it goes 09:26 AT: Wonderrfull. 09:28 AT: so current mission is to herd all these trolls and humans into line? 09:28 AT: Yes. 09:28 AT: LLike meowbeasts. 09:29 AT: okay! 09:29 AT: i will contact serios 09:29 AT: He's been doing ratherr welll 09:29 AT: serios has been doing great 09:30 AT: Yes. 09:31 AT: mm lorrea? 09:31 AT: Yes? 09:32 AT: would you like to be official moirails? or are the wounds still too raw? i understand if they are 09:33 AT: That is a difficullt question 09:34 AT: would you like some time to answer? 09:34 AT: It's morre that 09:34 AT: In my llast converrsation with Erribus 09:34 AT: He thrrew diamonds at me 09:35 AT: Just when I starrt to think that maybe it's just not the quadrrant forr me peoplle starrt getting alll 09:35 AT: Serrious about it 09:35 AT: aah i see well eribus would be a wonderful moirail :) haha you do give off a lot of pale vibes 09:35 AT: go with what you feel 09:36 AT: I can't 09:36 AT: mm? do you have to many pale feelings? 09:36 AT: like my little flush problem? 09:37 AT: Yes and no 09:37 AT: It depends 09:37 AT: I want to hellp peoplle but I allso DON'T 09:37 AT: I don't know 09:38 AT: sounds like a good thing to think on helping doesn't always mean you have to be pale 09:38 AT: I know that 09:39 AT: It's 09:39 AT: Palle and not palle and everryone thinks that it's just palle but 09:39 AT: Most peoplle don't considerr the fucking STRRUGGLLE THAT IS GOING ON 09:39 AT: RIGHT NOW 09:39 AT: ALLL THE FUCKING TIME 09:43 AT: i think we dont consider the struggle because youre too good at being you and you hide it because youre not allowing yourself to have problems outside of youre own head expressing whats happening inside is not a bad thing 09:43 AT: and asking for space is also not a bad thing 09:47 AT: I am 09:47 AT: Verry much alllowing mysellf to have prrobllems. 09:48 AT: Wheneverr anyone even catches the faintest GLLIMPSE of what the fuck is going on theirr llose theirr shit because I THRREATENED THEM. 09:49 AT: To ignorre the fact that if I had a grrub's brreath lless sellf restrraint theirr bllood woulld be fucking decorrating my damned wallls. 09:49 AT: And then have the GALLL TO ACT LLIKE I SLLIGHTED THEM. 09:52 AT: mmmm self-restraint should not turn into repression im assuming that's happened more than the one time i was around then 09:55 AT: Neverr. 09:57 AT: mmmm okay i gotta go for a minute but ill be right back okay? 09:57 AT: Surre. 09:57 AT: :) 09:58 AT: dont go anywhere 09:58 -- atypicalTyrant AT gave up trolling allodicTemperament AT at 21:58 -- 10:51 -- atypicalTyrant AT began trolling allodicTemperament AT at 22:51 -- 10:52 AT: you still here? 10:52 AT: Mostlly 10:52 AT: :) 10:53 AT: Is that a good thing. 10:54 AT: it is! i was afraid you would run away 10:55 AT: so 10:55 AT: you try and express yourself and then people turn on you 10:56 AT: thats where we were at? 10:56 AT: Is it? 10:56 AT: thats what i was getting 10:56 AT: Then maybe it is. 10:58 AT: okay 10:59 AT: we can start letting it out a little at a time? and you can start with me 11:00 AT: im always open for pestering and rants 11:01 AT: I'm not surre that 11:01 AT: Err. 11:01 AT: ... Okay. 11:01 AT: Surre. 11:02 AT: it is up to you whoever youre comfortable starting with 11:03 AT: Frranklly 11:03 AT: Erribus isn't ready forr anything palle. 11:03 AT: Not frrom me. 11:03 AT: He needs to just see me be strrong. 11:03 AT: He's rellying on me forr that. 11:04 AT: a lot of us have been yea thank you for that lorrea 11:05 AT: and i will do my best to be strong for you too 11:08 AT: Right. 11:10 AT: yees and you are free to yell at me when i heck up 11:10 AT: just like you did when i tried to play heiress 11:13 AT: I mean I harrdlly need perrmission forr that 11:13 AT: thats tru u dont 11:14 AT: If I did therre may have been a prrobllem 11:14 AT: there may be a rather large problem because fuchsias are notorious for being blindsided by their own arrogance 11:16 AT: Welll 11:16 AT: Yes. 11:21 AT: :) 11:26 AT: I think we may be ablle to avoid that 11:26 AT: mm? me being blindsided by arrogance? 11:26 AT: Yes. 11:28 AT: uum with me not leaping before i think and talking about my ideas? 11:28 AT: Welll that is generrallly a good apprroach. 11:30 AT: yes 11:32 AT: Uh. Thanks. By the way. 11:32 AT: sure :) anytime 11:35 AT: come to me if you need anything okay? 11:36 AT: Yeah 11:36 AT: Allrright. 11:38 AT: im gonna go talk to libby and get started on rounding us all up 11:38 AT: ill troll you later? 11:38 AT: Allrright! 11:38 AT: Good lluck 11:38 AT: <> 11:38 -- allodicTemperament AT gave up trolling atypicalTyrant AT at 23:38 -- 11:38 AT: <> 11:38 -- atypicalTyrant AT gave up trolling allodicTemperament AT at 23:38 -- Category:Lorrea Category:Aaisha